Retraction #1 (Kevin From Work)

It is with a thoroughly bored heart and mind that I must retract my previous post regarding Kevin From Work. After 5 solid weeks of pretty much nothing happening, save for the secondary characters being generally annoying in poor, lonely, or sexually frustrated ways… I can conclusively say that this is tea not even I wish to drink.

It was a good pilot. Not a great one, but good. The rest of the series, however, is neither. Without being overtly cruel, I’ll apologize for associating it with Marry Me and leave it at that.

In conclusion: not even fictional stalking can be funny.

I sort of want Kevin From Work’s job

This show will not be a cup of tea enjoyed by many. It is the tea of the few, the unreasonably proud, and the smarmy. In other words: me. In other other words: you, but you’re not happy about it. In other other other words: If you liked Marry Me before The Man cancelled that shit, then you’ll happily work with Kevin. Kevin From Work, that is. Except, not your actual work. Or mine. Or anyone’s, really. …Maybe? I’ve watched the first two episodes now, and I’m not entirely certain what Kevin’s job is. Something to do with food, I think. That doesn’t really matter all that much, though, because as it turns out, Kevin From Work has less to do with work than it does with being slightly obsessed with a co-worker.

You see, sometimes stalking is funny. And that’s when and only when it’s not real. Sure, fiction can feed crazies and make them do the crazy things they’ve always wanted to, but couldn’t until just the right inspiration struck. (Google “Beavis made me burn my house down” if you need an example.) But… as I said earlier, this tea has a really specific flavor. Not many people are going to drink it enough to do more than write about how they like it. And if it’s your favorite flavor, chances are you’re probably too lazy to actually do any proper stalking. (That’s not a challenge, weirdo.)

So, sit back, relax, definitely don’t stalk, and enjoy. If you’re like me, you’ll enjoy the minor characters more than the majors. Take Kevin, for example. He’s nice and all, but I don’t want to have his babies. I’d probably spend a Friday night with him, though. He’s got cool friends, after all. He’s also willing to sleep with a complete stranger just to get a piece of mail. That’s a guy with layers, man. First and even second impressions just won’t do.

Then there’s Audrey, the object of his affections/desires/inappropriate obsessions, who he shares a cubicle wall with. She’s nice and all (#tbt to the previous paragraph), but I wouldn’t feel the need to save all the smiley face post-its she puts on my side of the cubicle wall every single morning. (Yeah, Kevin kept them ALL.)

The minors hit it out of the park, though. Kevin’s best friend can be a bit much, but he’s got his funny moments. The real laugh-out-louds come from Audrey’s roommate and one of the quintessential office nerds. Highlights include:

• “Dear Surry, Undressed tour guide of munchkins.”
• “My dad’s a lawyer.”
  and
• “Do you want me to put my balls on your neck?”

Also, two straight men who happen to end up shirtless in a kitchen. (I think I’m not allowed to be mad at that.) And Amy Sedarisssss! (She can do no wrong in my eyes. Even when almost having a Sharon Stone moment. Or maybe especially then.)

So, if you’re expecting the greatest single camera comedy that’s ever hit your TV screen: calm down, gurl. But if you need a new show to watch and you’re into smart silly: watch it. It’s cute.