I’ve spent my entire day with Chelsea Handler and it was a good fuckin’ day because, god dammit, I’ve missed that girl. (I really hate that “dammit” is spelled with two m’s and not an m and n, but that has nothing to do with anything, so…)
As I type this, I’m currently spending time with her and her friends doing drugs, while I do some myself (“some” being gin, tonic, and lime… because I’m hardcore, y’all) so please excuse if any of this is nonsensical. I just thought “WWCD?” and I think she would type out a review anyway.
I didn’t watch Chelsea Lately the entire time it was on the air. The reasons why hearken back to my previously [slightly] posted-about drug addictions and recovery. I just had more shit to do than watch TV, unfortunately. But I did catch an episode here and there. It was maybe the last 3 years of the show that I consistently watched every day and I’m glad I did. She gave voices to comedians that didn’t achieve the same levels of success as she was able to, which sounds super commendable, but honestly, she did it so she could have more people make her laugh. And I think that sums her up well. A selflessly generous person who is so because it selfishly makes her happy in disconnected ways. (That’s a really drunk sentence… I’ll move on.)
There are people who don’t like Chelsea. Flat-out, hands-down could not give half a shit about the woman. Those people are assholes. Because Chelsea is a pretty amazing person. If she doesn’t make you laugh, don’t follow her comedy. Don’t keep track of her so you can hate a bitch for being hatefully hilarious. She’s not bitter, in general (like I am), but she’s honest to the nth degree. I really feel like people are attracted to her mainly because she says things most people simply won’t. Not because it’s impolite, not because it’s rude, not because it’s crude, but because it’s just too honest for people to handle. I think maybe it’s a fear of being offensive that she just doesn’t have because she truly, at a gut level, does not intend any offense. She’s just being honest. Growing up in New York, I had a few grade-school teachers like her (one in particular), and the fact that they were my favorite teachers is not insignificant. I really appreciate a lack of bullshit combined with respect. So, having an entire television series designed around Chelsea Handler teaching me about shit she’s simultaneously trying to learn about? It just can’t be bad.
Watch it, y’all. It’s a good time.
At this point, I’m real extra ready for her next Netflix show. Bring it on, y’all.
P.S.: This post is dedicated to Ms. Broccoli, my 9th grade Earth Science teacher, who taught the only class I ever got straight A’s in in high school. And it wasn’t because I gave any shits about Earth.
P.P.S.: Did I really just link a television review to high school teacher? Maybe I shouldn’t do what I think Chelsea would. No more gin & tonic reviews for me. Peace out, y’all.