Heroes Reborn Needs a Cheerleader

The problem with Heroes Reborn is the lack of cheerleaders. Not that I’m saying Hayden Panettiere needs to be in the series in order for it to not suck, nor am I saying any of the original characters need to reprise their roles (though having one or two of them pop up here and there is a good time which, let’s face it, would’ve served Milo Ventimiglia much better than the bag of supernatural procedural garbage that was The Whispers). But what I am saying is: there isn’t enough of a centralized story connecting everyone. It’s too disparate for any of the characters to connect to one and another, which makes it all the more difficult for the audience to connect to any of the characters. The magic of Heroes season 1 was: “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.” It was a crazy amount of characters with completely separate stories that all managed to feel connected, regardless, because there was the one goal to strive for. With Heroes Reborn, however, it’s clear that the creators are writing it for the die-hard fans who won’t give a shit and will love it no matter what, regardless of how little the umpteenth characters have to do with one another. I think maybe NBC was banking on the number of die-hard fans having risen over the years of literal “Netflix and chill,” but I don’t know if that was the greatest idea.

Personally, I’m enjoying it. Especially the Asian bitches, being all foreign and badass and cute. But even that story line feels so completely, utterly, totally separated form everything else happening on the show, even though they actually are connected. There’s some uber-company trying to control all the “Evos” (code for mother fuckers who were lucky enough to have crazy genetics that evolved into making them fly or not die or turn into time travelers or sunshine or video games or whatever), people trying to find possibly-not-dead evos who they love, some evos and non-evos trying to kill all evos, kids trying to protect their parents, and some random symbol that’s supposed to mean something, but doesn’t because, honestly, nothing means anything in this shit yet.

I waited a few episodes to write about it, so I could give it a fair shot. I think I might just be one of those ride or die bitches who’s gonna like it no matter what, but I’m also a bitter enough blogger to understand why some people won’t. I’ll leave it at that until it strikes my fancy again to write about it some more.

P.S.: Maybe it’s the Friday happy hour gin talking, but I could’ve sworn that the dude who can clone himself talked about “taking loads” in the latest episode. If you don’t understand the reference, congratulations on not being a gay man (or on being a gay man who isn’t into porn).

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