So You Think You Can Dance Like a Straight Dude

Applause where applause is due.

On last night’s So You Think You Can Dance, the notoriously “traditional” gender and sexuality conforming dance competition series, they lost one of the dozens of gay contestants they’ve had over the years. His name is Derek Piquette. And he is the shit. I was a fan of his throughout this season’s run and after last night, I’m an even bigger fan.

Having dealt with a barrage of comments (not just in this episode, mind you) on how to dance “properly” with a woman and just a general sense of “Why doesn’t it seem like you want to fuck the woman you’re dancing with? Haven’t you only ever wanted to be inside a vagina?” (I may be misquoting)… he chose a certain song to dance to for his solo of the night. Whether he intuited that it would be his last solo on the series, I’m not sure. But it was. And it was set to a little tune by The Irrepressibles entitled “Two Men In Love.”

Applause!
Applause!!
Applause!!!

I’d post the actual clip of his routine, but I doubt it’ll ever make it onto YouTube. So, just follow him on Twitter instead. While you’re at it, tell him he’s the mother fucking jam and you want to have his babies. I know I do.

If SYTYCD gets renewed for a 13th season, I’ll keep watching. But if I’m being honest, it’s only because dance deserves a place on television that doesn’t involve celebrities doing it badly. It is not because of how sugary sweet, nice and normal all those darn cute kids are [forced to be on So You Think]. I wish they would let the contestants just be. If the dancers never received another behind the scenes note about smiling when staring blankly into a camera or doing something “ya’know, FUN!:)” when screaming at the audience with their spirit fingers, begging for votes… it would be too soon. Because what results is someone visibly upset (because, hey, in a competition: sometimes shit is upsetting) while laughing and acting as though they’ve just had 3 espressos. Just let them fuckin’ feel like shit. I guarantee they’d get more votes with actual, genuine tears than with screwed on smiles and springs attached to the soles of their feet.

Just one season, just one… I’d like it to be full of dancers who dance because it’s what they fucking need to do. Full stop. Not because it makes them feel so bubbly and joyous and turns them into the shiny happy people.

But that’s just me. I’m bitter and gay. And Nigel doesn’t like that.

Edit 150906: Seems I just needed to do some more digging.